RIP Tommy the Tur-tlleee

Tommy the Tur-tllee was king of Siberia...until he was mauled by a giant, pollution-emitting truck. We sh0uld be ashamed ourselves, not only as Hopkins students, but as citizens of this great country that we dare to call the land of the free and the home of the brave. Was Tommy not brave??????? Was he not free????? Tommy the Tur-tllee led a simple life. He had a family, five little turtle mouths to feed. Who's to say they aren't out there on Forest Road now, walking in the path their father dared tread on. They peer into our parking spaces whimpering, "Papa?" He'll never answer their desperate calls.

You might be asking, why are we wasting so much valuable space on Tommy the Tur-tllee? The answer: there is no good answer. But Tommy made me think. Do we pretend to care about the environment and then run over its creatures? Do we drive our huge cars over animals on our way to organic food markets? Hmmm....
But back to Tommy. He shall be missed. Let this be a caution to ALL of you drivers out there: turtles are people too. Really small, green, four-legged, shelled people. But they are people.




Thanks to Aishah for her love/support/commentary.

10 Seconds to Green #3

Today feels like a lazy day. So why not go green without lifting a finger? Breathe less! Don't eat! Don't flush the toilet! Just kidding.

But really, how about clicking 3 buttons to make your computer more efficient? I'm serious. If you use Windows, right click anywhere on your desktop and select "personalize." If you use a Mac, do whatever it is you Apple people do.

Computers used to need animated, moving screensavers to prevent images from being burned onto the screen. Hurray, we evolved out of the Stone Age. Just make your screensaver a black background, or else your comp will actually consume MORE energy than usual. Tell the screensaver to activate as soon as you can stand it (my minimum is after three minutes...it's just too annoying otherwise).

Also, especially if you have a laptop, change your power settings to be more eco-friendly. Have your computer go into sleep mode after 10 minutes, not an hour. You can even change your power plan to maximize battery life (sadly, at the cost of performance).

Good job. Click the diagram to enlarge.

Recycling Plastic: The Ugly Truth

Remember how in third grade your teacher gave you an explanation of recycling? And how she was like, "Now, take a look at this cranberry juice box. See the little triangle on the bottom with the number in it? That's what the Nice People In Charge of Recycling drew to tell you to recycle!" And you probably learned that the lower the number in the little triangle, the easier the plastic was to recycle.
I'm unembarassed to admit that this was my understanding of plastics recycling until very recently.
Turns out the little eco-friendly-looking-triangle was invented by big plastics conglomerates to get consumers to think their products were good for the earth. It's practically fraudulent. Little triangle with a number does not equal recyclable. In fact, some types of plastic like vinyl (PVC) are actually damaging to dispose of. More specifics on PVC later. In the meantime, click to enlarge and get familiar with this handy guide to recycling.

Frodo says, "Go Green"

You knew this was coming.
J.R.R. Tolkien was an utter genius. People argue that Aragorn symbolizes this, Mordor stands for that, and the Ring is a metaphor for god knows what...I personally think that Tolkien's stories are so universal that they take on whatever significance speaks loudest to each individual reader.
So this morning, as I was fantasizing about being a Nazgul (doesn't everyone do that? no big deal), I realized that the Lord of the Rings can be an environmental allegory too. And in my excitement and glee, I made you a flow chart. Squeal. Click to enlarge.




I can't wait to be ostracized for this. So worth it.

Mooncakes

Today's post has nothing to do with recycling or trees. This blog is about saving the earth, and we believe that mission includes promoting peaceful coexistance.

So...

CHINA

Any uber-liberals out there are probably gnashing their teeth at the mere mention of the word, yes? Human rights violations, pollution, "oh no they'll cut off my arms if I don't act excited for the Olympics," that poor Dalai Lama guy, censorship of facebook...uh huh. But before y'all get all high and mighty, think about our own history. Abu Ghraib, massive industrialization, extermination of Native Americans, McCarthyism...we haven't exactly been pure and holy either.

Putting the moralistic rant aside, let's learn about China's ancient Mid-Autumn Festival.

Now, anyone who's ever been Asian knows that on Zhong Qiu Jie (that's what it's called), you eat mooncakes!

These rich pastries, known as yue bing, can be filled with all kinds of good things. My favorites are lotus and red bean pastes. Really traditional mooncakes have a salted duck egg tucked inside as well.

There's a myth behind the mooncakes which has hundreds of variations. This is the one I was told as a wee tot:

Once, long ago, ten suns blazed in the sky. They scorched the fields and dried the seas, and the people on earth were dying. The king of the heavens, Jade Emperor, asked the hero archer Houyi to shoot down nine of the ten suns. When he succeeded, Houyi became king of the earth and was given a beautiful wife named Chang'e. Over the years, Houyi grew obssessed with immortality. He traveled deep into the mountains to find Jade Emperor's mother, who gave him two pills containing the Elixir of Life. The only condition was that he and Chang'e couldn't take the pills until they had prayed, fasted, and made offerings for a whole year.

One day, when Houyi was out hunting, a treacherous servant broke into his home in search of the Elixir. To protect the world from an undying evil, Chang'e swallowed the pills herself. She began to float, out the window and into the skies, farther and farther into the heavens. Chang'e came to rest on the moon, where she met the Moon Rabbit. Houyi tried to run to the moon, but the winds held him back. In his grief he became a tyrant, and he was eventually beaten to death by his subjects. Today, the shadows we see on the moon are really Chang'e and the Moon Rabbit.

And we eat mooncakes.

Do It Yourself: Draught (Draft) Stopper

The -augh- spelling is infinitely superior to the -af-. DAMN YOU, NOAH WEBSTER

Sorry. Anyways, autumn has arrived in New England! And by "autumn," I mean frostbitten toes falling off of people who still insist on wearing flip-flops. It's time to start harping about the eco-crusader's favorite theme: the heating bill!! Goddess and Guru do not like being cold. They do not like the freezing gusts of air that rush into their homes from under their doors. They also own a number of ugly old sweaters that could stand some artistic shredding.

The project: recycled rag draught stopper

The materials:

old sleeve, stocking, or other stretchy tube

2 rubber bands

rags or other insulator

1. I chopped off the sleeve. Not difficult.

2. I rolled a bunch of rags into tubes and stuffed them down the sleeve, tying them into the bottom of the sleeve with a rubber band.

3. I made the tube nice and fat...finished!

Green isn't all about making sacrifices. It's also about being resourceful and wasting time making sock pu--recycled draught stoppers. Indeed.

Cottonseed Oil: Health Freakout

If I told you that an ingredient in many of your favorite foods was cottonseed oil, you'd probably be pretty happy. After all, it's not pork grease or anything. In fact, it sounds kind of nurturing and earthy, like something you'd find in Whole Foods organic barley crisps.

Well, sorry, guess again.

Cottonseed oil comes, not surprisingly, from the cotton plant. The FDA doesn't classify cotton as a food, so farmers can slather the crop with pesticides. That's a wee bit disturbing if you wear cotton tee shirts, but it's downright scary if you eat foods that contain cottonseed oil. Which you do, if you've ever had

Yes, even Poptarts :(

While cottonseed oil does have its benefits -- increases vitamin e intake, no trans fat, can be used to deep fry a ton of hamburgers before you have to replace it -- the stuff that goes into it is really, really awful. Cotton pesticides make up 10% of the world's pesticide use and 25% of insecticide use. The crops are just bombarded with tons of nasty chemicals, including:

Fun stuff. Long story short, stay away from fried foods, store-bought baked goods and snacks. Watch out for cottonseed oil in bottled salad dressings and sugary cereals. And don't be fooled by a healthy name.

Evil Robot Cows of Doom

Okay, this post isn't actually about robot cows. It's actually about something worse.

Remember when our economy was awesome? Three years ago, when everything was just lovely and everybody wanted more more more because that’s how we capitalists roll, dairy farmers couldn’t meet the milk demands of the American people.

The solution: breed only heifers (females). A bunch of guys in white lab coats spent years staring at bull semen. They figured out a way to tell if a sperm cell carried an x or a y chromosome (the x is slightly bigger), and then they plucked out and sold a ton of heifer-making bull sperms to the farmers.

Cool...except not really, because just as herds started ballooning with new dairy cows, we plunged into a ginormous recession. And people got way less excited about buying milk.
Today, these unnatural heifers are growing up and dumping dairy products into a non-existant market. There’s a huge supply and very little demand; farmers are losing money on milk.
The National Milk Producers Federation has been paying farmers to slaughter their herds. 230,000 cows have been culled this year.
So what do we have?
Rivers of milk. Struggling farmers. A ton of dead cows. And more genetically engineered heifers in test tubes, ready to go.

There is just so much wrong with this situation. It’s especially frightening because scientists are looking to extend gender-selection to human babies. Think about what could result from that. Pimps breeding harems. Terrorists breeding armies. I don’t know. It just seems so easily abused...sometimes we should leave nature be.

Also, what about all those dead cows? I understand the financial necessity of culling, but couldn’t they be donated to impoverished communites or something? Seriously, dear National Milk Producers Federation, giving away cows to penniless Peruvians isn’t going to hurt your profits. And in fact, a heifer and tubes of heifer-making semen would be ideal for the rural poor (make a baby without feeding a bull). Readers, d'you think we can do something about this? Bombard them with letters maybe? Contact the Heifer Foundation? Leave a comment on this post if you want to brainstorm.

Green Swag

Assorted bumper stickers and booklets from the YSEC conference.

Clockwise from top left:

bumpah stickah from New Dream, an organization that encourages responsible/green consumerism.

Natural Ingredients Dictionary, from a group campaigning for organic beauty products.

bumper sticker from Campus Climate Challenge. Youth groups fighting/voting for a just and sustainable future.

"Free Gift with your Cosmetics Purchase! A complimentary dose of toxic chemicals." That freaked me out.

And finally, sticker from Sierra Club, a organization whose motto is "explore, enjoy, and protect the planet."

YSEC Conference

Goddess and Guru are both members of the nascent Hopkins Sustainability Board. Today, I made my first journey into the world of university green activism when I attended a conference hosted by YSEC and NextGen at Yale.

Jesus.
Except for the incredibly kind and poised Maya Potter, I was the only high school student there, which was cute and fun for about five seconds. Honestly, I am not mature enough for this kind of thing. We were supposed to be networking and building support, and my social skills basically end at hiding in a corner pretending to text my imaginary friends. Still, it was totally useful and inspiring to get out of my comfort zone and see what's out there. Here's a quick rundown of the day.

8:30-9:00
Arrived. Tried to look hipster and fair-trade-ish. Failed. Desperately looked around for Maya, who wasn't there yet. Got a free tote bag and granola.

9:00-10:00
My. Worst. Nightmare. BONDING ACTIVITIES. Aaaagh I did NOT bargain for this!! Where the heck was Maya?! The woman running the show, a petite hippie type, had us do highly uncomfortable icebreaking "games" for an hour. We had to square dance, tell our secrets, and look deeply into each others' eyes.
Interestingly, I'd ever actually had to look a person in the eye for a full 2 minutes before. It was so hard. She was just a nice girl from New Haven University, but I could not for the life of me maintain eye contact. It was really bizarre. So I did get something out of the hour.
Then, every group wrote ideas for going green on slips of paper and tacked them on the walls. Cool.
10:00-10:30
Maya came. Thank god. We listened to two speakers in Dwight Chapel. The first talked "preaching what you practice" -- basically, updating education to match what students are already doing. The second guy invented the College Sustainability Report Card and got us thinking about green ways to use our school endowments. Seriously, if 1% of our endowment was invested in on-campus green iniatives...
10:30-11:15
Panels. The one I attended used the No Coal project as a model for creating a dramatic and effective campaign. For your info, No Coal is fighting the construction and use of coal plants all across America. They recommended using stalking, threats, and blackmail to target powerful people. It was legal, brilliant, and totally eye-opening. I took notes.

1120-12:20
Workshop #1. I met a Greenpeace field organizer who had just been in jail for hanging a protest banner off a bridge in Pittsburgh. He taught us how to get attention from the media and talk to Republicans. This guy was so cool. He was like, "Yeah, I'm from Greenpeace, that group of rabid, communist, eco-terrorist whatever-they-ares, and I can help you win any campaign through the media." More on this in a later post.

12:30 - 1:30
Lunch and Free Stuff. The food was vegan, but amazing. I was shocked. Seriously, this tofu/potato/mystical vegetable product was just like steak, except more tender. Wow.
After I hid in a corner and ate my eco-friendly food, I wandered around collecting informational pamphlets (I'll scan some later). I signed a bunch of petitions and freaked out about eco issues I hadn't even known existed. There was so much cool stuff going on...one group was doing a photo petition (taking pictures of people who held up green slogans on a dry-erase board to send to Congressmen) while another recruited organic farmers. 1:45 - 2:45
Workshop #2: A senior from Brown talked about his project, the Real Food Challenge. It was really, really useful for those of us looking to support "sustainability and justice in our food system" on our own campuses. The workshop was really interactive, and the speaker used awesome visuals. He drew a concept map showing us how to unite people with seemingly unrelated concerns into a single, powerful group. Again, more on this later.
2:45-3:45
Workshop #3: PVC, the Poison Plastic. A super well-dressed and passionate guy delivered this dynamic workshop on the dangers of a household material: vinyl. He showed us this funny cartoon, and then explained why PVC must be globally phased out of production. WAY more on this later.
4:00-4:30
A stellar folksong performance, followed by a rousing lecture from -- oh god -- a Harvard law student I had to "bond" with in the morning. More time was set aside for networking (I'm apparently on some kind of Connecticut alliance green team now...oops), during which I slithered off to Starbucks and went home.

Sweet.

10 Seconds to Green #2

Okay, so how many of you have been unplugging your computers and phone chargers at night? All of you? Awesome.
Today, Goddess and Guru bring you yet another way to be eco-friendly and lazy at the same time.

10s2g.2:

throw your sweatshirt on the floor

I'm serious.
There are some items of clothing that should really be washed after each use. Like your gym socks. WASH THEM. However, there are other accoutrements that really don't need to be laundered all that often.
I doubt you sweat all over skinny jeans (at least I hope your don't). And that sweatshirt probably doesn't need to go in the wash until you get pizza grease on it.
Do you realize what it takes to run a washing machine? 40 gallons of water. .256 kilowatt-hours per load. Actually, nevermind, I think I'll do a laundry lecture tonight or tomorrow...enough for now.
Long story short, the fewer loads, the better. So don't wash clean clothes.

Red Bull: Beverage of Satan

Or "Beverage of the Balrog," if you roll that way. Whatever.

Red Bull is an energy drink that contains triple the caffeine of Coke. And 2 tablespoons of sugar per can. This post is meant to convince you that Red Bull is an evil, evil drink that you should never, ever consume again. Let's begin.

Proof #1: Red Bull is killing the planet

Red Bull Corporation recently admitted to breaking British recycling laws for 8 years. Why? To save about $300,000. The fine for the crime? $450,000. Ha. That's the biggest fine any recycling violator has paid in history. Serves them right for dumping over 22,000 lbs of packaging waste into landfills.

Proof #2: Red Bull is probably killing you too

Studies show that drinking one can of Red Bull temporarily gives you the same risk of a heart attack as someone with coronary heart disease. So basically, drinking Red Bull is like lining your arteries with MacDonalds cooking fat. Gorgeous.

Proof #3: Red Bull is gross

Do you know why they call it "Red Bull?" It's because it contains the amino acid taurine (taurus means "bull" in Latin). Do you know where taurine comes from? Bull bile. Yup, the liver fluids of a cow. Okay fine, so they make it synthetically now, but think about it...you're paying to drink a can of fake digestive juices. Still thirsty?