Evil Robot Cows of Doom

Okay, this post isn't actually about robot cows. It's actually about something worse.

Remember when our economy was awesome? Three years ago, when everything was just lovely and everybody wanted more more more because that’s how we capitalists roll, dairy farmers couldn’t meet the milk demands of the American people.

The solution: breed only heifers (females). A bunch of guys in white lab coats spent years staring at bull semen. They figured out a way to tell if a sperm cell carried an x or a y chromosome (the x is slightly bigger), and then they plucked out and sold a ton of heifer-making bull sperms to the farmers.

Cool...except not really, because just as herds started ballooning with new dairy cows, we plunged into a ginormous recession. And people got way less excited about buying milk.
Today, these unnatural heifers are growing up and dumping dairy products into a non-existant market. There’s a huge supply and very little demand; farmers are losing money on milk.
The National Milk Producers Federation has been paying farmers to slaughter their herds. 230,000 cows have been culled this year.
So what do we have?
Rivers of milk. Struggling farmers. A ton of dead cows. And more genetically engineered heifers in test tubes, ready to go.

There is just so much wrong with this situation. It’s especially frightening because scientists are looking to extend gender-selection to human babies. Think about what could result from that. Pimps breeding harems. Terrorists breeding armies. I don’t know. It just seems so easily abused...sometimes we should leave nature be.

Also, what about all those dead cows? I understand the financial necessity of culling, but couldn’t they be donated to impoverished communites or something? Seriously, dear National Milk Producers Federation, giving away cows to penniless Peruvians isn’t going to hurt your profits. And in fact, a heifer and tubes of heifer-making semen would be ideal for the rural poor (make a baby without feeding a bull). Readers, d'you think we can do something about this? Bombard them with letters maybe? Contact the Heifer Foundation? Leave a comment on this post if you want to brainstorm.

Green Swag

Assorted bumper stickers and booklets from the YSEC conference.

Clockwise from top left:

bumpah stickah from New Dream, an organization that encourages responsible/green consumerism.

Natural Ingredients Dictionary, from a group campaigning for organic beauty products.

bumper sticker from Campus Climate Challenge. Youth groups fighting/voting for a just and sustainable future.

"Free Gift with your Cosmetics Purchase! A complimentary dose of toxic chemicals." That freaked me out.

And finally, sticker from Sierra Club, a organization whose motto is "explore, enjoy, and protect the planet."

YSEC Conference

Goddess and Guru are both members of the nascent Hopkins Sustainability Board. Today, I made my first journey into the world of university green activism when I attended a conference hosted by YSEC and NextGen at Yale.

Jesus.
Except for the incredibly kind and poised Maya Potter, I was the only high school student there, which was cute and fun for about five seconds. Honestly, I am not mature enough for this kind of thing. We were supposed to be networking and building support, and my social skills basically end at hiding in a corner pretending to text my imaginary friends. Still, it was totally useful and inspiring to get out of my comfort zone and see what's out there. Here's a quick rundown of the day.

8:30-9:00
Arrived. Tried to look hipster and fair-trade-ish. Failed. Desperately looked around for Maya, who wasn't there yet. Got a free tote bag and granola.

9:00-10:00
My. Worst. Nightmare. BONDING ACTIVITIES. Aaaagh I did NOT bargain for this!! Where the heck was Maya?! The woman running the show, a petite hippie type, had us do highly uncomfortable icebreaking "games" for an hour. We had to square dance, tell our secrets, and look deeply into each others' eyes.
Interestingly, I'd ever actually had to look a person in the eye for a full 2 minutes before. It was so hard. She was just a nice girl from New Haven University, but I could not for the life of me maintain eye contact. It was really bizarre. So I did get something out of the hour.
Then, every group wrote ideas for going green on slips of paper and tacked them on the walls. Cool.
10:00-10:30
Maya came. Thank god. We listened to two speakers in Dwight Chapel. The first talked "preaching what you practice" -- basically, updating education to match what students are already doing. The second guy invented the College Sustainability Report Card and got us thinking about green ways to use our school endowments. Seriously, if 1% of our endowment was invested in on-campus green iniatives...
10:30-11:15
Panels. The one I attended used the No Coal project as a model for creating a dramatic and effective campaign. For your info, No Coal is fighting the construction and use of coal plants all across America. They recommended using stalking, threats, and blackmail to target powerful people. It was legal, brilliant, and totally eye-opening. I took notes.

1120-12:20
Workshop #1. I met a Greenpeace field organizer who had just been in jail for hanging a protest banner off a bridge in Pittsburgh. He taught us how to get attention from the media and talk to Republicans. This guy was so cool. He was like, "Yeah, I'm from Greenpeace, that group of rabid, communist, eco-terrorist whatever-they-ares, and I can help you win any campaign through the media." More on this in a later post.

12:30 - 1:30
Lunch and Free Stuff. The food was vegan, but amazing. I was shocked. Seriously, this tofu/potato/mystical vegetable product was just like steak, except more tender. Wow.
After I hid in a corner and ate my eco-friendly food, I wandered around collecting informational pamphlets (I'll scan some later). I signed a bunch of petitions and freaked out about eco issues I hadn't even known existed. There was so much cool stuff going on...one group was doing a photo petition (taking pictures of people who held up green slogans on a dry-erase board to send to Congressmen) while another recruited organic farmers. 1:45 - 2:45
Workshop #2: A senior from Brown talked about his project, the Real Food Challenge. It was really, really useful for those of us looking to support "sustainability and justice in our food system" on our own campuses. The workshop was really interactive, and the speaker used awesome visuals. He drew a concept map showing us how to unite people with seemingly unrelated concerns into a single, powerful group. Again, more on this later.
2:45-3:45
Workshop #3: PVC, the Poison Plastic. A super well-dressed and passionate guy delivered this dynamic workshop on the dangers of a household material: vinyl. He showed us this funny cartoon, and then explained why PVC must be globally phased out of production. WAY more on this later.
4:00-4:30
A stellar folksong performance, followed by a rousing lecture from -- oh god -- a Harvard law student I had to "bond" with in the morning. More time was set aside for networking (I'm apparently on some kind of Connecticut alliance green team now...oops), during which I slithered off to Starbucks and went home.

Sweet.

10 Seconds to Green #2

Okay, so how many of you have been unplugging your computers and phone chargers at night? All of you? Awesome.
Today, Goddess and Guru bring you yet another way to be eco-friendly and lazy at the same time.

10s2g.2:

throw your sweatshirt on the floor

I'm serious.
There are some items of clothing that should really be washed after each use. Like your gym socks. WASH THEM. However, there are other accoutrements that really don't need to be laundered all that often.
I doubt you sweat all over skinny jeans (at least I hope your don't). And that sweatshirt probably doesn't need to go in the wash until you get pizza grease on it.
Do you realize what it takes to run a washing machine? 40 gallons of water. .256 kilowatt-hours per load. Actually, nevermind, I think I'll do a laundry lecture tonight or tomorrow...enough for now.
Long story short, the fewer loads, the better. So don't wash clean clothes.

Red Bull: Beverage of Satan

Or "Beverage of the Balrog," if you roll that way. Whatever.

Red Bull is an energy drink that contains triple the caffeine of Coke. And 2 tablespoons of sugar per can. This post is meant to convince you that Red Bull is an evil, evil drink that you should never, ever consume again. Let's begin.

Proof #1: Red Bull is killing the planet

Red Bull Corporation recently admitted to breaking British recycling laws for 8 years. Why? To save about $300,000. The fine for the crime? $450,000. Ha. That's the biggest fine any recycling violator has paid in history. Serves them right for dumping over 22,000 lbs of packaging waste into landfills.

Proof #2: Red Bull is probably killing you too

Studies show that drinking one can of Red Bull temporarily gives you the same risk of a heart attack as someone with coronary heart disease. So basically, drinking Red Bull is like lining your arteries with MacDonalds cooking fat. Gorgeous.

Proof #3: Red Bull is gross

Do you know why they call it "Red Bull?" It's because it contains the amino acid taurine (taurus means "bull" in Latin). Do you know where taurine comes from? Bull bile. Yup, the liver fluids of a cow. Okay fine, so they make it synthetically now, but think about it...you're paying to drink a can of fake digestive juices. Still thirsty?

Green Feet

Shoe shopping is one of the great feminine joys of life.

Except not for the people who don't have the means to protect their feet from the filth and the cold, much less buy an adorable new pair of kicks/Uggs/flats/stilettos/cleats/crocs HA/gladiator sandals/converses/what-have-you every time a new season rolls around.

And what do we usually do with our old shoes? Toss 'em, stuff 'em in closets, maybe give them to the dog to chew if we're feeling especially generous.

NO.

Recycle your shoes, people! You'll feel better about buying more! There are lots of ways to do this.

Exhibit A:

If you know me, chances are you know my cowboy boots. They're pretty average, nothing to write home about...in fact, they're kind of beat up and old, seeing as I bought them second-hand. And that's what makes them awesome. I mean sure, wearing some Texan lady's boots so I can pretend to be a cowboy is weird. But not as weird as buying some made-in-china faux-cowgirl boots at the mall so I can pretend to be a cowboy. AND IT WAS ECO-FRIENDLY. I saved my shoes from a landfill, and I saved the life of half a cow, I saved the energy used by the shoe-making machines, and I saved Xiao Li, the little orphan girl in the sweatshop, from working the machines. Not to mention like 60 bucks.

So yeah, if your used shoes are still in good condition, you can sell 'em to a vintage or second-hand store. Or, even better, donate them to soles4souls, which will pass them on to people in need (like wildfire victims, victims of domestic abuse, and orphans in developing countries).

Exhibit B:
Ouch. If your shoes look more like this, not even freezing orphans will want them. You're better off donating your sneakers to Nike's Reuse-a-Shoe project, which will recycle them into new ones, or playground and athletic court surfaces.

Exhibit C:

If your shoes look like this, then your life is pretty darn good, and if you're wasting, I hope the little green demons are going to come and KICK YOUR BUTT -- sorry. I repeat, if you have a pair of new shoes that don't fit and you can't return, or your dog chewed the left shoe to pieces, or you're just feeling charitable...send them along to the National Odd Shoe Exchange. It's a non-profit started in 1943 which donates un-matched shoes to amputees, polio victims, and people with club feet, missing toes, or mismatched shoe sizes who can't afford shoes that meet their needs. Disclaimer: Obviously, you're not going to be sending your YSL stilettos to an amputee in Appalachia. But you get the idea.

10 Seconds to Green

"I'm too busy" is not an excuse to destroy the planet. That said, not all of us have time to build greenhouses or clean up other people's messes. Goddess and Guru want to help you do your part, so check back here every few days for ways to go green in fewer (not less, right Justin?!) than 10 seconds.

10 Seconds to Green #1:

u n p l u g

Your charger's in the socket, but your phone's not plugged in...so you're not wasting energy, right? Wrong. Standby power -- also known as vampire power -- is what electronic devices suck up even when they're turned off. It can amount to 10% of household energy consumption. Just to give you a frame of reference, here are some numbers:

Watts are units of power drawn by an appliance at any point in time.

We can convert to units of energy, kilowatt-hours. Say your laptop sits there, turned off, for 8 hours every night.

9 watts / 1000 = .009 kilowatts

.009 kW x 8 hours = .072 kilowatt-hours

.072 kWh x 365 days per year = 26.3 kWh/yr

That's a decent amount of energy -- enough to run your laptop ON 8 hours a day, for 2 and a half months.

Conclusion: UNPLUG. Ten seconds a day can save a ton of energy in the long run. Go one step further by purchasing electronics with low standby power consumption.

Reader Q&A: Why So Green?

The utterly fabulous Alexa sent us some interview questions for an English assignment. I'm reposting my answers here, and I'll do the same with Claire's in a bit. Click here to help Alexa with a survey she's conducting.

Alexa: Why is it important TO YOU to be green??
GG: First of all, I think people often forget that TREES ARE PEOPLE TOO. And begonias, and flamingos, and endangered animals, like Hawaiian monk seals. All are people too and ought to be treated accordingly.
Okay, okay, seriously, here's my answer. I am extremely dedicated to environmentalism because, paradoxically, I'm not a huge "nature person." I don't go camping, I like electricity and running water, and I think civilization is pretty awesome. Many hardcore environmentalists get very possessive about being eco-friendly; they act like they're on a holy crusade and treat the rest of us like ignorant, insensitive tree-killers. This exclusive attitude is totally counterproductive -- it makes people less likely to cooperate, learn, or help the planet. I don't think green should be a secret society. I'm eco-friendly to prove that regular people can make a difference, too.
A: Why is it important for Hopkins to be green and have a green club??
GG: A club isn't worth much until it gets people thinking, caring, and doing. GOAT is meant to provide that inspiration. And Hopkins, where tons of bright, passionate, and privileged teens can share ideas and work with one another, is the kind of place where inspiration can turn into action. We can do great things.
A:Why should teenagers be green, and to what extent is it reasonable for teenagers to be green??
GG: Why should teens be green? Out of selfishness, really. You wouldn't let your dog chew your favorite shoes, because they're yours and you'll want them later on. The same goes for the earth. Plus, as teens, we are a powerful consumer demographic. For example, whether the car market of the next 10 years tends toward the Hummer or the hybrid is totally in our hands.
There's really no excuse for us not to be as eco-friendly as possible. We're young, strong, and educated. And besides, there are absolutely no personal costs to going green. You don't have to be living in a mud hut and spearing rats for dinner to be helping the earth.
A: Why do you think being green is NOT important to everyone??
GG: I think it is important to everyone. Again, it doesn't require a lot of sacrifice to make a little difference. And a little difference is better than no difference at all. There's no "why bother?" in going green.
A: What are some easy ways to be green?
GG: I can't stress enough that going green is not a life-changing commitment. It doesn't take a lot of work to throw your Vitamin Water bottle into the blue bin instead of the black one.
It's so easy to be green. Use both sides of your notebook paper. Unplug your electrical devices when they're not in use. Buy local produce, or grow a garden at home. For more ways to make your day-to-day life a wee bit greener, check out http://www.goddessandguru.blogspot.com/. [Editor's note: Aah, I love me some shameless self-promotion.]

Obligatory, Hyper-Optimistic GOAT Update

For all of you who are sitting on the edges of your seats, biting your nails and quivering with excitement for some update on the greenhouse, don't worry! We're making great progress.
Tomorrow, Claire and I are meeting with Mr. Kops to finalize a blueprint (get it? the word "blueprint" is blue? nevermind.).
We’re currently choosing vegetables based on growing conditions, demand, and plant life cycle.
On another note, we’re brainstorming forms of alternative energy that don’t require thousands of dollars and engineering degrees to assemble. And, like, solar panels are soooo 2006. Just kidding, we're just bitter that we can’t afford them.
We’ll be revealing some of our innovations soon! And we may need your help collecting materials....hint, don’t throw out your water bottles. Now go read some of the interesting posts below this.

Die Hard with the Vegans (pun fail)

There are some of us who care about plants.
There are others of us who write blogs about caring about plants.
There are still others of us who get Venus Flytraps tattooed on our calves. [Editor's note: The best part is the sock/faux flower pot. Hands down.]

Or wind turbines, if you're more into the whole alternative energy thing.

And if that's still not good enough for you, there is always the cow option.

Paradox:

Why do people who refuse to eat animal products always look so eager to devour your young?

Yet Another Reason Why the Yankees Are Better Than Your Team

SICK INNING OH MAN so Melky gets called out for running into the path of the Angels' second baseman, but then Teixeira comes up and hits a two run triple and the Yankees take the lead! And I'm inspired to write this post.

[Editor's note: And its a pinstripe victory 5-3 with some sweet baserunning by Brett Gardner and a Cano single.]

I really don't need to tell you that the New York Yankees were, are, and always will be the greatest ball club in the major leagues. I'm not going to bore you with talk of 26 World Series rings, 39 AL pennants, iconic uniforms, historic heroes, diehard fans. It's barely worth mentioning that they are currently the hottest team in baseball and basically crushing everyone in their path and...yeah, not even going into that.

What I was psyched to learn today is that the Yanks totally go green. Can you even process that? That the Yankees are even more awesome than you thought they were? It's like one of those infinity plus one questions that you can't solve on math tests.

Anyways. So get this:

The new Yankee Stadium has special, energy-efficient light fixtures that also reduce 50% of light waste (light going onto other property) and save 207,000 lbs of carbon emissions per night game. That's like planting a tree for every pitch of the home season.

The Stadium sells drinks only in biodegradable cups. It also composts or recycles 40% of its waste. All paper products are 100% recycled paper.

The Great Hall uses a natural cooling system (like our greenhouse!!) instead of high-energy air conditioning.

Even the toilets are eco-friendly! The new plumbing system is supposed to cut water waste by 22% and a new type of waterless soap could save millions of gallons every year.

The Yankees are the first ball club in the majors to make all their maintenance and operation manuals electronic. While this may not sound like a big deal, it will save 10 trees, 100 pounds of solid waste, 1,000 gallons of waste water and 10,000 kilowatt-hours of electricity.

Obviously, the Stadium's location lends itself to mass tranportation. Take that subway!

And the best for last...Yankee Stadium recycles its cooking oil, and has produced 7,192 gallons of biodiesel fuel to date. Using the biodiesel will cut over 125,000 lbs of carbon emissions. That's like taking 12 cars off the road for a whole year.

Just for fun, I checked out the Red Sox green agenda. The first thing they brag about is forcing student "volunteers" to pick up garbage. Like in a gulag. That's cute.

Sex on Wheels

I think it's time for a post on some epically awesome, wicked, sicknasty, eco-friendly cars. Seriously, these babies are flyer than a flying parakeet. Flying in the air. With its wings.

Haha. Without further ado, I give you the 2010 Lotus Evora.

oh, yeaaaah.

Why it's hot: Um, why don't you LOOK AT IT FOR A SECOND? The interior is pretty cool too. It has race car seats, and a touch screen audio/video/GPS system. The Evora's protoype has a max speed of 160mph and goes from 0-60 in under 5 seconds. It also has amazing stopping power for all your Bond, James Bond driving moments.

Why it's green: Car weight is directly proportional to fuel consumption. The Evora, in all its sleekness, weighs only 2,976 lbs -- less than a Toyota Prius. Carbon emissions are relatively low at 225g/km (a really green car would be releasing only 150g/km, but what the heck). Testers report fuel consumption as 30+ mpg. Compared to other luxury sports cars, that's not half bad.

Next up, we have the Tesla Roadster Sport.

Can you hear the angels?

Why it's hot: It goes 0-60 in 3.7. That's like, .2 seconds away from a Rihanna song. Plus, the wheels are black. And you can get two-toned leather seats.

Why it's green: The Roadster is a plug-in car. Yes, that's right, you plug it in to an outlet, charge it up, and then zoom around for up to 244 miles before coming home to recharge. NO GAS. NO EMISSIONS. Twice as efficient as a Prius. [Editor's note: Yes, yes, people debate whether electric cars are green or if they just outsource pollution to power plants. I still want a Roadster.]

And finally...wait for it...the 2010 Ferrari FXX Millechili.

there are no words.

Why it's hot: Good god, it's a ferrari. Need I say more? [Editor's fun fact: I've actually never had great luck with Ferraris. Almost puked on one in Monte Carlo, almost got hit by one in San Francisco last month.]
Why it's green: "Mille chili" means 1,000 kg, or roughly 2,200 lbs. Miles above us, the ozone layer is smiling.