Confession

The last post was cringily righteous. I kind of wanted to punch the screen after I typed it. So let's talk about hypocrisy!

Except it's not hypocrisy, because the whole point is that you don't have to be special or rabid or perfect to save the planet. Precisely.

Anyhow, I've wasted tons and tons of resources over the years.

One example that comes to mind tonight is the collection of Kleenex ghosts I amassed in second second.

While other little kids were busy having friends or learning to add, I was using box after box of tissues to make these:

I'm serious. I probably made about 200 ghosts in total. I kept them in huge manila folders under my bed. And the best part is that it wasn't a Halloween thing...I did it all year. Every single one had a name, personality, and backstory ("This is Thomas. He sells shoes, but he has a secret lover who is already married and he feeds the poor orphans when they beg at his doorstep." Etcetera.). I kid you not, I was that cool. I killed that many trees. And IT WAS SO WORTH IT.

Pet Peeve/Rant/Idea: Fitness Equipment

You know what makes me mad? Fitness equipment. Is your life so luxurious that you have nothing worthwhile to be expending your energy on? Why don't you go play a sport?? Or build a house? Or walk around and learn something about your hometown?
Speaking of which, British regulars marched along Forest Road during the invasion of New Haven in 1777. There are probably dead Redcoats IN MY YARD. Yes.
But back to fitness equipment. I had a treadmill phase for about two weeks...I thought it was totally great. Awesome, I thought. I get to burn calories while watching TV in an air-conditioned room! Then, slowly, I started to think about all those flashing buttons and stupid sitcoms and cooling fans. I realized I was sapping huge amounts of electricity just so that I could look cute in a dress.
Not cool. I felt kind of queasy. I went back to my traditional forms of physical activity, running my dogs and jumping up and down screaming.
I'm renouncing fitness machines until they can be used as power sources.


It's been done before. Pedal-powered generators turn the mechanical energy of cycling into electrical energy, which can power devices or be stored in battery packs. I think GOAT should wire up the hopkins fitness room. I want my greenhouse powered by bicycles.

Birthday Present

Today's my birthday!! I can almost hear you squealing with excitement. Want to give me something? Here are some ideas:

1. Wind up MP3 player

My iPod is junk. It's a hand-me-down from my little sister (I turned down an iTouch in a regrettable moment of eco-righteousness). The font sometimes shows up in Swedish. This one is pretty snazzy. It gives you roughly 40 minutes of listening time for every 1 minute of cranking. And don't laugh; this guy invented the wind-up radio (sort of).

2. Donate your dead phones

Donate your old cell phones to Cell Phones for Soldiers. They sell the cell phones to a company that recycles them in exchange for phone cards. The phone cards are them distributed to American soldiers stationed all over the world.

3. From ebay: Antique ($700) Civil War US Navy Bicorn Naval Cocked Hat

I would wear that. To school, on a daily basis. Seriously, though, this is pretty much the definition of manly. Like, James Bond standing on a galloping camel hacking down his enemies with a machete with one arm tied behind with back would have nothing on this baby. Mine.

Getting Technical

Today, I decided to measure exactly how much water I consume every time I take a shower. The process was quite simple, really.

I found a huge measuring cup.
I turned on the water, held the measuring cup under the showerhead, and had my sister Lulu time 10 seconds exactly. After 10 seconds, I staggered off with my brimming glass cup and measured how much water it held: 7.2 cups (1.8 quarts, if you're into that sort of thing).

I used this online calculator to convert to gallons. I found that my shower uses .45 gallons in 10 seconds.
To find gallons per minute (GPM), I multiplied by 6; that gives 2.7 gallons per minute.

Next, I timed my average shower: 9 minutes. 2.7 x 9 = 24.3 gallons per shower.


My goal is to cut down shower time to a maximum of 5 minutes, reducing my GPS (gallons per shower) to 13.5. Grr...I love hot showers. Oh well. I'll keep you posted.

Number Crunch

Let's not spend a lot of time discussing 350, the number many are calling the most important in the world. Chances are you heard enough about 350 today (yesterday, I guess), no matter where you are or what you believe in. 350 parts per million -- allegedly the safe upper limit of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. You can find pictures of people spelling out 350 in lots of fun ways with a quick blackle search.

It's easy to get caught up in global excitement about 350, but there are some other numbers that we shouldn't lose sight of either. They may not be "the most important in the world," but they are numbers that affect your day-to-day life. And more importantly, they are numbers you can change.

pounds of French fries a typical American consumes in a year: 30

daily tons of construction waste added to South Bronx landfills: 1,900

songbirds killed by one use of pesticide on one acre of crops: 25


pounds of paper a typical American uses in a year: 730


hours in a day a typical American child spends indoors or in a vehicle: 22

percent of all pesticides declared hazardous by the US gov. that have been legally banned: 3

sources:
Wargo, Green Intelligence.
Yes! Summer 2009.
Welz, Recycled Office Products Co.
Westtown School, "Health, Food Safety and Environmental Stewardship Series."
National Wildlife Federation

How Not to be Eco Friendly

Reusing stuff is great. Hand-crafting stuff is great.

Hand-crafting reusable toilet paper is NOT GREAT. This is the sort of thing that makes Joe Sixpack believe that all eco-friendly people are looney, tree-hugging communists. Don't go there.

Are you grossed out yet? It gets worse. Check out the accompanying description:

"Everyone can use them :-) In case you just 'happened' on this listing are [sic] aren't reusing tp, here are the benefits:

leaves behind no lint

saves money

reduces waste output

low flow toilets always flush when not loaded with paper

you can wet your wipe for an always clean behind

can double as panty liners for light incontinence or to keep your mama pad an hour or two longer

Some other uses:

travel size tissues

camera lens and eyeglasses cleaners

make-up remover

reusable cotton ball

add essential oil and throw in dryer for nice smelling clothes"

Wait a second. You want us to wipe with Mr. Indigo Square, throw him in the laundry, and then use him as a makeup remover? Are you out of your freaking mind?!?!

I'm a little skeptical on how eco these are -- given that you probably need to launder the heck out of them with hard-core chemicals -- but more over, this is a TERRIBLE image for the green movement. "Hi, I'm Jen. I'm saving the planet by wiping with rainbow rags that I share with my friends."

No. Just no. But if you still want to buy a set, you can jolly well be my guest: click here.

Wrapid Fire (heh)

That was the stupidest pun ever. And it serves no purpose in this post other than to annoy you.

My birthday is in October, so to me this month represents the beginning of a gift-giving attack that lasts from now 'til New Year's. GET IT? ATTACK? OH MY GOD, I CONNECTED THIS POST TO RAPID FIRE AND NOW MY PUN MAKES SENSE. Yay.

But back to presents. You know what sucks? Wasting rolls and rolls of paper wrapping presents. You know what sucks more? Getting an unwrapped present. It totally kills the anticipation. It's like being told about your surprise birthday party.

So what's an eco-friendly person to do? The solution was revealed to me right about this time last year. For my birthday, some awesome person (I think it might have been Dutch?) wrapped my present in newspaper. It looked totally cool. Observe:

How awesome is that? And you could send all kinds of subliminal messages with the headlines. But let's not go into that right now.

Sneaking Suspicion

So Alexa, Lainee, the Guru and I noticed something funny about the dessert at lunch today.

We tasted it and perceived the unmistakeable tang of pumpkin, but it looked just like cornbread.

"What's this?" One of us asked.

"I don't know, but it smells funny," I responded.

"Here, let me see," Claire demanded. She took a whiff and her eyes lit up. "It's vanilla cake mix!"

"Can we do this without sniffing the dessert?" Alexa wondered.

"Look, it has white and orange streaks!" Lainee noticed, holding up a cross-section.

It was all too much. "WHAT IS GOING ON??!"

Claire, always the thinker, was the first to solve the mystery. "Say, wasn't there pumpkin bisque for lunch yesterday?"

There was. Moment of truth ensued.

THE CAFETERIA USED DAY-OLD PUMPKIN SOUP TO MAKE PUMPKIN CAKE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S RECYCLING.

Our cafeteria makes us look like eco wusses....P.S. next time let's try it with the hot sauce.

Dirt is the New Black

No world is as full of sheer lunacy as the fashion world. Observe bio-accessories, the ultimate new form of eco-crazy:

Yeeeup, that's a bird on her headband. A LIVING, TWEETING BIRDIE. The concept: every single piece contains a living organism (grass in a test tube, a bird, a tiny tree...). The mission is to unite nature and urban wasteland; "The wearer tends to the animal or plant, which in turn reciprocates with fresh air, light, greenery, privacy or birdsong." Birdsong. You got that? Your hat chirps at you. I think that's pretty cool, until it flies away or freezes to death. They have some pretty snazzy ideas though. The mask thing up top is called "The Nosegay," and it's supposed to mask the odors of reeking sidewalk trashcans. Nice. Check out their blog in the link above, and as usual click the pic to enlarge.

In the Greenhouse: Companion Planting

It's easy to lose sight of the fact that GOAT is first and foremost an eating project. The goal is grow as much food as possible. One method we're going to be using is companion planting: the art of cultivating plants that help each other grow. Remember learning about the Native American "three sisters," corn, squash, and beans? Yeah, like that. These days, organic farmers use companion planting techniques to improve their crops without resorting to pesticides. Here are some super-cool examples:

Carrots and Parsley: The parsley masks the scent of the carrot seed, protecting it from carrot flies (they are really gross...the larvae burrow brown tunnels through the carrot). The carrot blossoms will attract wasps and other pollinators in the spring.

Celery and Spinach: You have to pay attention to what's going on underground. Celery has shallow, fibrous roots. Spinach has a long, fast-growing taproot. The two plants won't be competing for the same soil.

...etcetera.

You know what's awesome? Etcetera used to be abbreviated "&c." Isn't that just so cool? Because the "&," which is called an ampersand, is actually a cursive-y combination of the letters "e" and "t". "Et" means "and" in a number of languages, which is why we used the symbol. I remember literally shrieking with glee when I first figured that out. Maybe that explains my friendless childhood. (joke)

A thought or two

The "cool plant" the Guru pointed out is milkweed.
All living things reproduce. We crank out screaming infants, eagles lay eggs, yeast cells send out alpha and beta signals to each other so they can fuse and divide into little baby yeasts.
Plants, which can't move, do interesting things to get their seeds out. Some make little burrs that get stuck on/carried by wild animals. Others bury their seeds inside of tempting fruits. Still others give off little bits of fluff that fly through the air.

That's what milkweed does. It makes a giant seed pod that looks like something out of a fairy tale. When the pod bursts, it releases seed-carrying fibers so silky that they were used to stuff lifevests and flying suits in World War II.

I dragged a friend up the hill to Hopkins one time to help me measure a plot of land. It was a weekend, and the grounds were quiet and peaceful. I prattled about building greenhouses and planting things, but he wasn't listening. "See that? That's milkweed. Monarch butterflies like milkweed."

We looked for butterflies but there were none.

"Look at this." He handed me a dark green leaf. "Tear it at the vein."
I did, and thick, milky sap spurted onto my fingers. I laughed and asked about the huge pods.

"They're a little early, but here--"

He grabbed one and pried open the thick shell with almost tender concentration. It strained and stretched, and then with a loud POP it spewed forth its silk and seeds.

I got really excited. We blew on the pod. Its fluff bobbed and swirled in the September breeze.

When the pod was finally empty, we decided we were done for the day. I tried to wipe the sticky sap off my fingers, but it was a long time before they were dry again.

GREENHOUSE SITE PICS

Recently, the heads of GOAT have trekked across campus to find the best sites for the greenhouse. We looked everywhere and ended up with a little over ten options. Yikes. So here are pictures of a few plus some random pictures of the environment. Like this picture of a cool plant. Just look at that.

Tennis court sites (above) ...


The library site (above) ...

Basically, we have a ton of options. Thoughts?