Confession

The last post was cringily righteous. I kind of wanted to punch the screen after I typed it. So let's talk about hypocrisy!

Except it's not hypocrisy, because the whole point is that you don't have to be special or rabid or perfect to save the planet. Precisely.

Anyhow, I've wasted tons and tons of resources over the years.

One example that comes to mind tonight is the collection of Kleenex ghosts I amassed in second second.

While other little kids were busy having friends or learning to add, I was using box after box of tissues to make these:

I'm serious. I probably made about 200 ghosts in total. I kept them in huge manila folders under my bed. And the best part is that it wasn't a Halloween thing...I did it all year. Every single one had a name, personality, and backstory ("This is Thomas. He sells shoes, but he has a secret lover who is already married and he feeds the poor orphans when they beg at his doorstep." Etcetera.). I kid you not, I was that cool. I killed that many trees. And IT WAS SO WORTH IT.

Pet Peeve/Rant/Idea: Fitness Equipment

You know what makes me mad? Fitness equipment. Is your life so luxurious that you have nothing worthwhile to be expending your energy on? Why don't you go play a sport?? Or build a house? Or walk around and learn something about your hometown?
Speaking of which, British regulars marched along Forest Road during the invasion of New Haven in 1777. There are probably dead Redcoats IN MY YARD. Yes.
But back to fitness equipment. I had a treadmill phase for about two weeks...I thought it was totally great. Awesome, I thought. I get to burn calories while watching TV in an air-conditioned room! Then, slowly, I started to think about all those flashing buttons and stupid sitcoms and cooling fans. I realized I was sapping huge amounts of electricity just so that I could look cute in a dress.
Not cool. I felt kind of queasy. I went back to my traditional forms of physical activity, running my dogs and jumping up and down screaming.
I'm renouncing fitness machines until they can be used as power sources.


It's been done before. Pedal-powered generators turn the mechanical energy of cycling into electrical energy, which can power devices or be stored in battery packs. I think GOAT should wire up the hopkins fitness room. I want my greenhouse powered by bicycles.

Birthday Present

Today's my birthday!! I can almost hear you squealing with excitement. Want to give me something? Here are some ideas:

1. Wind up MP3 player

My iPod is junk. It's a hand-me-down from my little sister (I turned down an iTouch in a regrettable moment of eco-righteousness). The font sometimes shows up in Swedish. This one is pretty snazzy. It gives you roughly 40 minutes of listening time for every 1 minute of cranking. And don't laugh; this guy invented the wind-up radio (sort of).

2. Donate your dead phones

Donate your old cell phones to Cell Phones for Soldiers. They sell the cell phones to a company that recycles them in exchange for phone cards. The phone cards are them distributed to American soldiers stationed all over the world.

3. From ebay: Antique ($700) Civil War US Navy Bicorn Naval Cocked Hat

I would wear that. To school, on a daily basis. Seriously, though, this is pretty much the definition of manly. Like, James Bond standing on a galloping camel hacking down his enemies with a machete with one arm tied behind with back would have nothing on this baby. Mine.

Getting Technical

Today, I decided to measure exactly how much water I consume every time I take a shower. The process was quite simple, really.

I found a huge measuring cup.
I turned on the water, held the measuring cup under the showerhead, and had my sister Lulu time 10 seconds exactly. After 10 seconds, I staggered off with my brimming glass cup and measured how much water it held: 7.2 cups (1.8 quarts, if you're into that sort of thing).

I used this online calculator to convert to gallons. I found that my shower uses .45 gallons in 10 seconds.
To find gallons per minute (GPM), I multiplied by 6; that gives 2.7 gallons per minute.

Next, I timed my average shower: 9 minutes. 2.7 x 9 = 24.3 gallons per shower.


My goal is to cut down shower time to a maximum of 5 minutes, reducing my GPS (gallons per shower) to 13.5. Grr...I love hot showers. Oh well. I'll keep you posted.

Number Crunch

Let's not spend a lot of time discussing 350, the number many are calling the most important in the world. Chances are you heard enough about 350 today (yesterday, I guess), no matter where you are or what you believe in. 350 parts per million -- allegedly the safe upper limit of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. You can find pictures of people spelling out 350 in lots of fun ways with a quick blackle search.

It's easy to get caught up in global excitement about 350, but there are some other numbers that we shouldn't lose sight of either. They may not be "the most important in the world," but they are numbers that affect your day-to-day life. And more importantly, they are numbers you can change.

pounds of French fries a typical American consumes in a year: 30

daily tons of construction waste added to South Bronx landfills: 1,900

songbirds killed by one use of pesticide on one acre of crops: 25


pounds of paper a typical American uses in a year: 730


hours in a day a typical American child spends indoors or in a vehicle: 22

percent of all pesticides declared hazardous by the US gov. that have been legally banned: 3

sources:
Wargo, Green Intelligence.
Yes! Summer 2009.
Welz, Recycled Office Products Co.
Westtown School, "Health, Food Safety and Environmental Stewardship Series."
National Wildlife Federation

How Not to be Eco Friendly

Reusing stuff is great. Hand-crafting stuff is great.

Hand-crafting reusable toilet paper is NOT GREAT. This is the sort of thing that makes Joe Sixpack believe that all eco-friendly people are looney, tree-hugging communists. Don't go there.

Are you grossed out yet? It gets worse. Check out the accompanying description:

"Everyone can use them :-) In case you just 'happened' on this listing are [sic] aren't reusing tp, here are the benefits:

leaves behind no lint

saves money

reduces waste output

low flow toilets always flush when not loaded with paper

you can wet your wipe for an always clean behind

can double as panty liners for light incontinence or to keep your mama pad an hour or two longer

Some other uses:

travel size tissues

camera lens and eyeglasses cleaners

make-up remover

reusable cotton ball

add essential oil and throw in dryer for nice smelling clothes"

Wait a second. You want us to wipe with Mr. Indigo Square, throw him in the laundry, and then use him as a makeup remover? Are you out of your freaking mind?!?!

I'm a little skeptical on how eco these are -- given that you probably need to launder the heck out of them with hard-core chemicals -- but more over, this is a TERRIBLE image for the green movement. "Hi, I'm Jen. I'm saving the planet by wiping with rainbow rags that I share with my friends."

No. Just no. But if you still want to buy a set, you can jolly well be my guest: click here.

Wrapid Fire (heh)

That was the stupidest pun ever. And it serves no purpose in this post other than to annoy you.

My birthday is in October, so to me this month represents the beginning of a gift-giving attack that lasts from now 'til New Year's. GET IT? ATTACK? OH MY GOD, I CONNECTED THIS POST TO RAPID FIRE AND NOW MY PUN MAKES SENSE. Yay.

But back to presents. You know what sucks? Wasting rolls and rolls of paper wrapping presents. You know what sucks more? Getting an unwrapped present. It totally kills the anticipation. It's like being told about your surprise birthday party.

So what's an eco-friendly person to do? The solution was revealed to me right about this time last year. For my birthday, some awesome person (I think it might have been Dutch?) wrapped my present in newspaper. It looked totally cool. Observe:

How awesome is that? And you could send all kinds of subliminal messages with the headlines. But let's not go into that right now.

Sneaking Suspicion

So Alexa, Lainee, the Guru and I noticed something funny about the dessert at lunch today.

We tasted it and perceived the unmistakeable tang of pumpkin, but it looked just like cornbread.

"What's this?" One of us asked.

"I don't know, but it smells funny," I responded.

"Here, let me see," Claire demanded. She took a whiff and her eyes lit up. "It's vanilla cake mix!"

"Can we do this without sniffing the dessert?" Alexa wondered.

"Look, it has white and orange streaks!" Lainee noticed, holding up a cross-section.

It was all too much. "WHAT IS GOING ON??!"

Claire, always the thinker, was the first to solve the mystery. "Say, wasn't there pumpkin bisque for lunch yesterday?"

There was. Moment of truth ensued.

THE CAFETERIA USED DAY-OLD PUMPKIN SOUP TO MAKE PUMPKIN CAKE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S RECYCLING.

Our cafeteria makes us look like eco wusses....P.S. next time let's try it with the hot sauce.

Dirt is the New Black

No world is as full of sheer lunacy as the fashion world. Observe bio-accessories, the ultimate new form of eco-crazy:

Yeeeup, that's a bird on her headband. A LIVING, TWEETING BIRDIE. The concept: every single piece contains a living organism (grass in a test tube, a bird, a tiny tree...). The mission is to unite nature and urban wasteland; "The wearer tends to the animal or plant, which in turn reciprocates with fresh air, light, greenery, privacy or birdsong." Birdsong. You got that? Your hat chirps at you. I think that's pretty cool, until it flies away or freezes to death. They have some pretty snazzy ideas though. The mask thing up top is called "The Nosegay," and it's supposed to mask the odors of reeking sidewalk trashcans. Nice. Check out their blog in the link above, and as usual click the pic to enlarge.

In the Greenhouse: Companion Planting

It's easy to lose sight of the fact that GOAT is first and foremost an eating project. The goal is grow as much food as possible. One method we're going to be using is companion planting: the art of cultivating plants that help each other grow. Remember learning about the Native American "three sisters," corn, squash, and beans? Yeah, like that. These days, organic farmers use companion planting techniques to improve their crops without resorting to pesticides. Here are some super-cool examples:

Carrots and Parsley: The parsley masks the scent of the carrot seed, protecting it from carrot flies (they are really gross...the larvae burrow brown tunnels through the carrot). The carrot blossoms will attract wasps and other pollinators in the spring.

Celery and Spinach: You have to pay attention to what's going on underground. Celery has shallow, fibrous roots. Spinach has a long, fast-growing taproot. The two plants won't be competing for the same soil.

...etcetera.

You know what's awesome? Etcetera used to be abbreviated "&c." Isn't that just so cool? Because the "&," which is called an ampersand, is actually a cursive-y combination of the letters "e" and "t". "Et" means "and" in a number of languages, which is why we used the symbol. I remember literally shrieking with glee when I first figured that out. Maybe that explains my friendless childhood. (joke)

A thought or two

The "cool plant" the Guru pointed out is milkweed.
All living things reproduce. We crank out screaming infants, eagles lay eggs, yeast cells send out alpha and beta signals to each other so they can fuse and divide into little baby yeasts.
Plants, which can't move, do interesting things to get their seeds out. Some make little burrs that get stuck on/carried by wild animals. Others bury their seeds inside of tempting fruits. Still others give off little bits of fluff that fly through the air.

That's what milkweed does. It makes a giant seed pod that looks like something out of a fairy tale. When the pod bursts, it releases seed-carrying fibers so silky that they were used to stuff lifevests and flying suits in World War II.

I dragged a friend up the hill to Hopkins one time to help me measure a plot of land. It was a weekend, and the grounds were quiet and peaceful. I prattled about building greenhouses and planting things, but he wasn't listening. "See that? That's milkweed. Monarch butterflies like milkweed."

We looked for butterflies but there were none.

"Look at this." He handed me a dark green leaf. "Tear it at the vein."
I did, and thick, milky sap spurted onto my fingers. I laughed and asked about the huge pods.

"They're a little early, but here--"

He grabbed one and pried open the thick shell with almost tender concentration. It strained and stretched, and then with a loud POP it spewed forth its silk and seeds.

I got really excited. We blew on the pod. Its fluff bobbed and swirled in the September breeze.

When the pod was finally empty, we decided we were done for the day. I tried to wipe the sticky sap off my fingers, but it was a long time before they were dry again.

GREENHOUSE SITE PICS

Recently, the heads of GOAT have trekked across campus to find the best sites for the greenhouse. We looked everywhere and ended up with a little over ten options. Yikes. So here are pictures of a few plus some random pictures of the environment. Like this picture of a cool plant. Just look at that.

Tennis court sites (above) ...


The library site (above) ...

Basically, we have a ton of options. Thoughts?

RIP Tommy the Tur-tlleee

Tommy the Tur-tllee was king of Siberia...until he was mauled by a giant, pollution-emitting truck. We sh0uld be ashamed ourselves, not only as Hopkins students, but as citizens of this great country that we dare to call the land of the free and the home of the brave. Was Tommy not brave??????? Was he not free????? Tommy the Tur-tllee led a simple life. He had a family, five little turtle mouths to feed. Who's to say they aren't out there on Forest Road now, walking in the path their father dared tread on. They peer into our parking spaces whimpering, "Papa?" He'll never answer their desperate calls.

You might be asking, why are we wasting so much valuable space on Tommy the Tur-tllee? The answer: there is no good answer. But Tommy made me think. Do we pretend to care about the environment and then run over its creatures? Do we drive our huge cars over animals on our way to organic food markets? Hmmm....
But back to Tommy. He shall be missed. Let this be a caution to ALL of you drivers out there: turtles are people too. Really small, green, four-legged, shelled people. But they are people.




Thanks to Aishah for her love/support/commentary.

10 Seconds to Green #3

Today feels like a lazy day. So why not go green without lifting a finger? Breathe less! Don't eat! Don't flush the toilet! Just kidding.

But really, how about clicking 3 buttons to make your computer more efficient? I'm serious. If you use Windows, right click anywhere on your desktop and select "personalize." If you use a Mac, do whatever it is you Apple people do.

Computers used to need animated, moving screensavers to prevent images from being burned onto the screen. Hurray, we evolved out of the Stone Age. Just make your screensaver a black background, or else your comp will actually consume MORE energy than usual. Tell the screensaver to activate as soon as you can stand it (my minimum is after three minutes...it's just too annoying otherwise).

Also, especially if you have a laptop, change your power settings to be more eco-friendly. Have your computer go into sleep mode after 10 minutes, not an hour. You can even change your power plan to maximize battery life (sadly, at the cost of performance).

Good job. Click the diagram to enlarge.

Recycling Plastic: The Ugly Truth

Remember how in third grade your teacher gave you an explanation of recycling? And how she was like, "Now, take a look at this cranberry juice box. See the little triangle on the bottom with the number in it? That's what the Nice People In Charge of Recycling drew to tell you to recycle!" And you probably learned that the lower the number in the little triangle, the easier the plastic was to recycle.
I'm unembarassed to admit that this was my understanding of plastics recycling until very recently.
Turns out the little eco-friendly-looking-triangle was invented by big plastics conglomerates to get consumers to think their products were good for the earth. It's practically fraudulent. Little triangle with a number does not equal recyclable. In fact, some types of plastic like vinyl (PVC) are actually damaging to dispose of. More specifics on PVC later. In the meantime, click to enlarge and get familiar with this handy guide to recycling.

Frodo says, "Go Green"

You knew this was coming.
J.R.R. Tolkien was an utter genius. People argue that Aragorn symbolizes this, Mordor stands for that, and the Ring is a metaphor for god knows what...I personally think that Tolkien's stories are so universal that they take on whatever significance speaks loudest to each individual reader.
So this morning, as I was fantasizing about being a Nazgul (doesn't everyone do that? no big deal), I realized that the Lord of the Rings can be an environmental allegory too. And in my excitement and glee, I made you a flow chart. Squeal. Click to enlarge.




I can't wait to be ostracized for this. So worth it.

Mooncakes

Today's post has nothing to do with recycling or trees. This blog is about saving the earth, and we believe that mission includes promoting peaceful coexistance.

So...

CHINA

Any uber-liberals out there are probably gnashing their teeth at the mere mention of the word, yes? Human rights violations, pollution, "oh no they'll cut off my arms if I don't act excited for the Olympics," that poor Dalai Lama guy, censorship of facebook...uh huh. But before y'all get all high and mighty, think about our own history. Abu Ghraib, massive industrialization, extermination of Native Americans, McCarthyism...we haven't exactly been pure and holy either.

Putting the moralistic rant aside, let's learn about China's ancient Mid-Autumn Festival.

Now, anyone who's ever been Asian knows that on Zhong Qiu Jie (that's what it's called), you eat mooncakes!

These rich pastries, known as yue bing, can be filled with all kinds of good things. My favorites are lotus and red bean pastes. Really traditional mooncakes have a salted duck egg tucked inside as well.

There's a myth behind the mooncakes which has hundreds of variations. This is the one I was told as a wee tot:

Once, long ago, ten suns blazed in the sky. They scorched the fields and dried the seas, and the people on earth were dying. The king of the heavens, Jade Emperor, asked the hero archer Houyi to shoot down nine of the ten suns. When he succeeded, Houyi became king of the earth and was given a beautiful wife named Chang'e. Over the years, Houyi grew obssessed with immortality. He traveled deep into the mountains to find Jade Emperor's mother, who gave him two pills containing the Elixir of Life. The only condition was that he and Chang'e couldn't take the pills until they had prayed, fasted, and made offerings for a whole year.

One day, when Houyi was out hunting, a treacherous servant broke into his home in search of the Elixir. To protect the world from an undying evil, Chang'e swallowed the pills herself. She began to float, out the window and into the skies, farther and farther into the heavens. Chang'e came to rest on the moon, where she met the Moon Rabbit. Houyi tried to run to the moon, but the winds held him back. In his grief he became a tyrant, and he was eventually beaten to death by his subjects. Today, the shadows we see on the moon are really Chang'e and the Moon Rabbit.

And we eat mooncakes.

Do It Yourself: Draught (Draft) Stopper

The -augh- spelling is infinitely superior to the -af-. DAMN YOU, NOAH WEBSTER

Sorry. Anyways, autumn has arrived in New England! And by "autumn," I mean frostbitten toes falling off of people who still insist on wearing flip-flops. It's time to start harping about the eco-crusader's favorite theme: the heating bill!! Goddess and Guru do not like being cold. They do not like the freezing gusts of air that rush into their homes from under their doors. They also own a number of ugly old sweaters that could stand some artistic shredding.

The project: recycled rag draught stopper

The materials:

old sleeve, stocking, or other stretchy tube

2 rubber bands

rags or other insulator

1. I chopped off the sleeve. Not difficult.

2. I rolled a bunch of rags into tubes and stuffed them down the sleeve, tying them into the bottom of the sleeve with a rubber band.

3. I made the tube nice and fat...finished!

Green isn't all about making sacrifices. It's also about being resourceful and wasting time making sock pu--recycled draught stoppers. Indeed.

Cottonseed Oil: Health Freakout

If I told you that an ingredient in many of your favorite foods was cottonseed oil, you'd probably be pretty happy. After all, it's not pork grease or anything. In fact, it sounds kind of nurturing and earthy, like something you'd find in Whole Foods organic barley crisps.

Well, sorry, guess again.

Cottonseed oil comes, not surprisingly, from the cotton plant. The FDA doesn't classify cotton as a food, so farmers can slather the crop with pesticides. That's a wee bit disturbing if you wear cotton tee shirts, but it's downright scary if you eat foods that contain cottonseed oil. Which you do, if you've ever had

Yes, even Poptarts :(

While cottonseed oil does have its benefits -- increases vitamin e intake, no trans fat, can be used to deep fry a ton of hamburgers before you have to replace it -- the stuff that goes into it is really, really awful. Cotton pesticides make up 10% of the world's pesticide use and 25% of insecticide use. The crops are just bombarded with tons of nasty chemicals, including:

Fun stuff. Long story short, stay away from fried foods, store-bought baked goods and snacks. Watch out for cottonseed oil in bottled salad dressings and sugary cereals. And don't be fooled by a healthy name.